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Monday, March 16, 2009

Sober Thoughts For A Lonely Mind














I miss that. A lot.
I sometimes wonder what's stopping me from getting in my car, forgetting about school, and just running away. Especially today. I begged and pleaded for the support to go to school anywhere near the ocean, and all I received was a big shut down from my father. Yet, now he supports his almost step-daughter who did the same damn thing I wanted to do?

I feel as though I've been shutting down my happiness for everyone else. I came to Denton the first time to make my family feel good about me going to school. I went back home to take care of my suicidal mother when she couldn't take care of herself. And I came back for what I thought would bring back the spark in me, but I think I'm starting to realize that I was mistaken. 

Where do I go from here?

"A dark haired woman is driving the roads, 
Breathing deeply, she don't mind being alone."

Oh Lord, we break so easy

1 comments:

Stargazer said...

I hear you Mega! I live just a little over an hour from the Pacific Ocean and wouldn't want it any other way.

Family dynamics are an amazing thing to me ... how people in a family are SO different. How step family is treated differently than your real, actual blood family. Shame on your dad!

It time for YOUR happiness to begin. No more doing things to please other people Mega! I know we're naturally people-pleasers, but the more you do it, the more you get taken advantage of.

Hey ... if you ever want to get away for a bit and come to Washington, I would be happy to show you around the beautiful beaches ... and we could get ice cream in FRESHLY-MADE waffle cones :) Yummy!

Smiles,
Angie